Dinner had gone wonderfully, Ethan had helped me to relax and enjoy a great meal and his company. The atmosphere surely helped. After we finished eating we cuddled up on the couch together, the fleece afghan usually thrown across the back of the couch over us as we watched a romantic comedy that we had both been wanting to see. He didn’t ask me for details about meeting with my mother, nor did I offer any. I honestly didn’t even think of her as we spent our time together, Evan and I.
Somewhere near midnight my eyes began to droop, my head to bow as I tried to stay awake. The next thing I felt were Evan’s strong arms under me, lifting me into him and carrying me off to bed. I opened my eyes briefly as we entered our bedroom and saw more rose petals scattered, nearly completely covering, the mattress. I smiled softly as he lay me down on their silkiness.
Evan went to put the fire out, put the dishes up, lock the doors and turn out the lights and then he was back next to me. We lay next to each other, belly to belly, his arms encircling me, the fingers of one hand gently twirling my hair while the other hand made patterns lightly on my bare back. It was nice to be held, soothed.
“I don’t know what I should do about Lily.”
“Oh, uh, you know, my mom.”
Evan gently pushed a few strands of my hair out of his before wrapping his arm around me again.
“What do you want to do?”
I thought about this. I had bene so focused on wanting to know what Lily’s motives for wanting to meet me had been that I hadn’t really considered my own wants and needs.
“I mean, I always knew I was adopted. It was just something I accepted. When I was younger I didn’t think about it too much but when I got older, I wanted to know. I wondered a lot. About what she was like, if I looked like her, if my life would’ve been different with her in it. Better. If I would’ve been different.”
Ethan rolled onto his back, one arm still around me.
“If your life would’ve been any different it wouldn’t be the life you had now, you wouldn’t be the person you are now. The person I met and fell madly in love with. You might not have had that amazing bath that you did tonight, that dinner that I know you loved because your eyes are heavy and that usually happens after you’ve eaten an awesome meal.”
Evan’s teasing tone made me smile and I playfully shoved him with what little strength I had left after such a long day. He was right. If I spent all this time and energy wondering about what could’ve been I would end up neglecting and forgetting how great everything was that I already had.
Evan’s winsome personality was one of the things I loved most about him. He wasn’t just all brains and brawn. He had a heart that was filled to the brim with love and he so often used it to make the people he loved happy.
“No matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you.”
His words wrapped around me like a warm mink blanket on the coldest winter day and my eyelids finally shut for the night.
Written in response to The Daily Post.
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